Wednesday, April 18, 2018

What Was You Worst Childhood Memory?


Someone wrote about their worst childhood memory today and I couldn't come up with a single thing besides the farm dog ripping my face off or the heat stroke but they didn't seem unusual enough and then it hit me. There was a recurring nightmare that went on until well into my 20s.

There was a kid's show on Canadian TV called 'Romper Room'. They had it in the US I am sure and the Canadian version had Miss Fran I think for most of its run. I hated it. Sure they played games and learned not to eat yellow snow or sled in traffic. Sure DOOBIE, the birth control BEE would show up to teach us silent lessons while he clapped his hands in that large bee costume - WITHOUT a stinger mind you - so technically he was a dead bee - a zombie bee (and you can't tell me that that bee wasn't high everyday - he smoka da ganga, Bogarted the joint and passed the 'dutchie' on the RIGHT hand side) if you will. No, the worst part was at the end of every show. When she would hold up a hand mirror without glass and say these magic words.


"Romper stomper bomper boo...tell me tell me tell me do...magic mirror, please tell me today...did all my friends have fun at play?" and then she would rattle off a bunch of names - "Sally, Billie, Dristan, Codiene, Shakira, Shaquanda, Shaboola, and little Damian, I see you too." - but the bitch never, ever, ever, once said CALVIN. And I was right there, looking right at the TV. She could see me. Some days I even waved. Bitch ignored me. One day at Cadet Camp we were watching it in the morning and I waited and went on such a rant when it was over because even all grown up, she still froze me out.

 

4 comments:

DrGoat said...

Yep, we had that down here too. Boring. Capt. Kangaroo had it all over Romper room. Bunny Rabbit would take that Bee down a notch.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

We got Bozo from Chicago but no Captain K. I do remember GUNNY RABBIT on SCTV but he was homicidal and heavily armed.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

I don't think that sissy rabbit couldn't deal with a six foot tall bee who is also a master of many martial arts and IS A BEE.

Dr. Theda said...

2nd grade... Evil Teacher conspired with my later 5th grade teacher to make my childhood Hell.... (Valentines day... She called the class over to look at my folder and they all laughed at the one I put in (as I did for each student, with a piece of candy)... and and other.... one of many times she did such things... if caught whispering... she would pinch my arm... one day my parents saw the bruises... after that she became even "nastier" an evil in her treatment of a 7 year old kid...
Enough said of that (But was only "part" of Miseries that lay ahead)...