Wednesday, February 21, 2018

The Lies Of The Facebook Robot And Their Best Friend Quiz

First I barely know this Beatnik Artist and any connection between him and I and the deactivating a nuclear device in a day care center is a pure invention of the media. You all know that Toddlers make the most unreliable witnesses. The fact that several pieces of his art are on the border of my blog. That is purely coincidence. I needed something fill the empty space. Plus he would never say this about me because if he tried his tongue would snap off it' roller. I also may have podcasted with him also but that was only so I could tell him how wrong he was on most everything. I don't have any friends so stop making trouble, Facebook Robot.

Then I saw this comment by Erik after I had replied about this stupid bullshit Facebook quiz. I assumed he was the one writing the message but in reality he was captioning my cat picture. Hilarity continued to ensue.
Erik Allan Johnson "I will start my own Cave of Cool, and mine will be better because it will have pizza AND tacos!"
Calvin Heighton  Good Luck, Rookie. First you can't just go up to ANY cave and call it cool. What makes you think I don't already have pizza and tacos and punch and pie? You kmow, every couple of years a brash young punk like you comes around thinking that he wants a shot at the title. It never ends well for them and it's a long cold wlk home. But I like you You got talent. I might let you illustrate my graphic novel one day. But we will see. You have potential but also ambition and that combintion can be a very desructive thing in a young man.
Calvin Heighton Oh, you meant the cat...ha ha...but if you did mean youself the advice still holds.

Is She Trying To Seduce Me?

I am not a beer drinker so I am not sure.

What Type Of Russian IDIOT Takes Performance Enhancing Drugs To Compete In Olympic CURLING!!

This is akin to the taking of steroids to be a professional poker player. It makes no sense and is not necessary but I am happy that this bozo got caught so that he could be stripped of his bronze medal and have it given to Norway. But really, Comrade, CURLING???

Russian curlers Alexander Krushelnitsky and Anastasia Bryzgalova will hand back the Olympic medals they won in Pyeongchang, the Russian news agency TASS reported, citing a Russian curling Federation spokeswoman.

Krushelnitsky, who won bronze in Pyeongchang with his wife Bryzgalova in mixed doubles curling, tested positive for meldonium, a drug that can aid endurance.

Morning Captions


My Sweet Bebe Found A New Cave To Sleep In


I Have THE BEST Online Friends

I love my friend Debra. She lives in the capitol of my province but we have never met in person. In fact, I don't even know what she looks like because she never post pictures of herself. She is also a proud Lesbian and that makes no difference to me nor has it ever made a single difference in our friendship. Today I got a package from her and I am over the moon. I saw BLACK PANTHER on Friday and they didn't have these popcorn holders yet so I was pretty bummed. It was one of the BLACK PANTER collectibles that I wanted most of all and was not something that would be for sale in the stores. Another fantastic addition to the collection of cool.

Thank you very much my friend. You made me a happy boy today.



Stephen Loves His Curling

Wednesdays With Wonder Woman


My Name Is Calvin And I Am A Problem Solver

The rules of politeness apply pretty much everywhere we go. This is especially important to remember when we’re on an airplane.
This unspoken rule of the skies (and the close quarters up there) may be why people are especially offended when someone does something rude like taking off their shoes or eating smelly food. Or, in this case, proceeding to brazenly pass gas, despite other passengers asking them to stop.

Last weekend, a Transavia Airlines flight from Dubai to Amsterdam was forced to make an emergency landing due to a fight that broke out between a man and the passengers sitting next to him. Despite their pleas, the man insisted on farting throughout the flight.


At some point everyone buckles in, the cabin door is opened, Mr Stinky is wooshed out of the cabin and no one ever talks about this again. Free drinks until the drinks run out. What the Captain doesn't know won't hurt him.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Which Sesame Street Character Am I?

I can't argue with this.

I Have A Dream

Everytime I see a poor sheep like this who is in desperate need of a shearing I always feel bad because it must be so uncomfortable and ichy and smelly to let the wool get all crazy like that.

I don't even have it in me to caption this poor critter. I just want to go on a pilgrimage to find him and set the Universe right with my sheares.

Thanks Again Facebook Robot


I Love This Guy


Monday, February 19, 2018

Now I Have A Midnight Craving For Blue Gummy Fish


Monday Image Blizzard